Only in America...

...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of The store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

...do people order Double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

History of the Slayers.

You know, there are a lot of wackos out there. You know the type, the nutjobs who live in trailers and wear tinfoil hats, who claim that the government is brainwashing us through our cellphones and faked the moon landings and that they're hiding the UFO that crashed in Roswell inside Area 51.

Well, guess what. Those "nutjobs" are right.

Sort of, anyway.

It wasn't a UFO landing that drove the military into high gear, it was a group of vampires. Five of them appeared in the desert, out of nowhere. The military was woefully unprepared. Fifty-four soldiers were killed in less than three hours. The only thing that saved the rest of the company was the early dawn. Those "little green men" the nurses reported seeingwere actually the shriveled corpses of vampires that had been exposed to the sun's ultraviolet light.

Three weeks later, on July 22, 1947, the United States Government founded the Paranormal Research, Investigation, and Management Agency. It was tasked with monitering and interviening in any reported signs of paranormal activities.

In other words, when monsters showed up, it was the agency's job to take them out.

Of course, the agents didn't particuarly appreciate their agency's name forming the acronym PRIMA, as it made for some not-very-flattering nicknames, so the agents took to calling themselves "the slayers."

And so, for the past sixty years, The Slayers have been secretly protecting the unsuspecting United States from the likes of vampires, werewolves, zombies and other deranged paranormal monsters.


Of course, none of this much mattered to me at that point. I had more pressing concerns on my mind, like the werewolf that thought I'd make a good snack. I'd asked him to come in quietly, but he decided to stay belligerent. A trio of silver hollowpoints changed his attitude rather quickly. Unfortunately for me, that just made his girlfriend angry. And everyone knows that werewolves are like Hulk; you really won't like them when they're angry. She tried to take a chunk out of my face; fortunately, she was a bit intoxicated on garlic fumes, so she missed. Still took the rest of my clip to bring her down, though.

Dang, I love this job.

My name is Eli Thatcher, and I'm a Slayer.

At the Dentist

I just got back from the dentist's office. Had to get two little cavities filled. Nothing I really could have done to prevent them; the doc says that they were way in the back (which was true) and that they were in spots that are darn near impossible to reach with a brush or floss anyway.

I could describe what I'm feeling right now, but I think that Bill Cosby can do it far better than I possibly could, particularly about what happens when they stick you with novocaine:



So I have to read King Lear for Western Civ, and I brought the book with me to the dentist's office. We wind up having a brief discussion about Shakespeare before he goes to stick me. Right when he goes to stick me with the mother of all needles, he says "Be nor afraid, I mean you no harm." To which I reply; "Yeah, right. It'd be a bit more convincing if you weren't holding that giant harpoon. Now I just have to wait for that mother of all needles to wear off, and I'll be able to feel my face again

Shakespeare and.... Queen?

Got a new profile pic. It's a black 1969 Mustang Fastback. Beautiful car. Too bad, they don't make 'em like that anymore.

Finished reading Shakespeare's Richard III for my Western Civilization class. A great piece of classical literature. However, in my opinion, the title needs a little work. One could actually substitute in the title of one of Queen's most famous songs. Another One Bites the Dust would work as this play's title perfectly.

Speaking of Queen, here's an interesting music video I found on YouTube:




That was random, I know.

This video is cool, too:



I know, I am very obsessed with Star Wars. And Hamlet. Incidentally, the very last clip from that trailer is from the soliloquy I had to memorize for Mr. Drake. On another topic, does anyone know the title of the song from that video.

Hmm... Can't really think of anything else to write right now. So, enjoy this lolcats picture:

Okay, never mind. Blogger isn't cooperating, so I can't upload the picture. You can check it out here.

Anyway, I leave you (for now) with another trailer by the guys that did the Star Wars/Hamlet thing.:

New Post for a New Year

Again, a very happy new year to everyone. I hope everyone had a very pleasant holiday season.

Hopefully, this post will actually have a bit of substance to it. However, I apologize in advance if I start rambling.

I made a few minor revisions to my profile. I really wanted to get a different picture, but I couldn't find one I liked better than my '70 Eliminator. Man, it's really hard to find decent pictures of Atoll Blue 1970 Pontiac GTO Judges!

I have had this odd obsession with Hamlet as of late. It might have had something to do with the fact that I've been reading Shakespeare over break for the last couple of weeks, but none of those plays are Hamlet. I had to read Hamlet for school a few years back, even going so far as to have to memorize a soliloquy as part of an assignment for Mr. Drake.

Now might I do it pat, now he is praying;
And now I'll do't. And so he goes to heaven;
And so am I revenged. That would be scann'd:
A villain kills my father; and for that,
I, his sole son, do this same villain send
To heaven.
O, this is hire and salary, not revenge.
He took my father grossly, full of bread;
With all his crimes broad blown, as flush as May;
And how his audit stands who knows save heaven?
But in our circumstance and course of thought,
'Tis heavy with him: and am I then revenged,
To take him in the purging of his soul,
When he is fit and season'd for his passage?
No!
Up, sword; and know thou a more horrid hent:
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed;
At gaming, swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in't;
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damn'd and black
As hell, whereto it goes. My mother stays:
This physic but prolongs thy sickly days.

That's from Act III Scene 3.

Anyone remember Tupperware parties? Well, there's a new version of them out there: Tazer parties. I'm not making this up, and no, I'm not still drinking eggnog (or anything else for that matter). Seems kinda bizarre to me, but if it'll educate people about Tazers and help women to defend themsevles, then whaever; I've got no problem with it.

Here's another headline that grabbed my attention: Boy Defends Mother with Lightsaber. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, some kid in England used his toy lightsaber to defend his mom when a guy started beating her up. I guess the Force really was with this kid. (Sorry. Couldn't resist)

HAPPY 2008!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Merry Christmas Everyone

And have a Happy New Year too.

Do You Expect Me to Talk?

Thanks to nerdjedi for sending me this pic.

007 ROCKS! Even if he is teaching high school physics...

Funny Pic

Dis picture iz me...



'cept I iz not ah kitteh.

New Reaction

Check it out here.

For some reason, my computer does not like CNN.com. Every time I log on, five to ten minutes later my system crashes. The strange part is, it only happens when I go to CNN.com. No other site, no other program. Wierd...

Congress Close to Raising Fuel Economy Standards

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Congress is finalizing a deal that would raise the fuel economy standards for most U.S. cars and trucks for the first time in more than 30 years.

But the bill also contains several significant loopholes that would allow auto companies to get around the new limits.

The centerpiece of the bill is a requirement that would raise the corporate average fuel economy standard, known as CAFE, from 27.5 miles per gallon for cars and 22.2 mpg for trucks to 35 mpg fleet-wide by 2020.

The Senate passed the mandate in June, but the House has not yet voted. Congressional aides familiar with the negotiations said House leaders are hoping to work out final language this week and vote next week.

Large "work trucks" like the Dodge Ram, the Ford F-150 and the Chevrolet Silverado would be exempt from the 35 mpg standard, according to sources involved in the negotiations.

Automakers will get credits to count against their fleet-wide average for selling "flex fuel" cars that are able to use alternative fuels or gasoline. Although U.S. manufacturers have built millions of flex fuel cars, ethanol is actually used in only about 1.5 percent of them, according to the Union of Concerned Scientists. Most continue to run on gasoline, the group found. Ethanol is not widely available to car owners.

Despite these loopholes, backers of the bill say it brings a significant change that will benefit consumers. Rep. Ed Markey, D-Massachusetts, chairman of the House Select Committee on Global Warming, said in an interview that the higher standard "will be a huge victory. It won't be something, however, that will stop us in the years ahead continuing to look at ways to continue upon that further."

House Energy and Commerce Chairman John Dingell, D-Michigan, who has been a key negotiator on the compromise bill and defender of auto industry interests, is pushing for some significant changes to the Senate version.

In an interview Wednesday with a Detroit television station, Dingell said he's supportive of the new standard, but stressed "we've got to do it in a way that doesn't destroy our industry or manufacturing."

Dingell would like to include a provision that would build in job protections for U.S. autoworkers, requiring U.S. auto companies to continue to manufacture a certain percentage of their vehicles in the United States.

Dingell also wants to create separate standards for car and truck fleets.

"We have to address the Senate bill to make sure we don't combine light trucks and automobiles in a way that will destroy them," he said.

According to a recent analysis by the Union of Concerned Scientists, a nonprofit environmental group, if the 35 mpg limit was implemented, it would translate into a savings for consumers of $25 billion at the pump in 2020.

The bill will also include a requirement to increase the production of biofuels like ethanol to 36 billion gallons by 2022. According to the Department of Energy, the United States produced 4 billion gallons of biofuels in 2005.

"Our goal is over the next 10 to 15 years [to] see a revolution that results in a dramatic increase in SUVs and automobiles that can use these new fuels and the number of Americans that can use them," Markey said, "so that we can back out more millions of barrels of oil that come from OPEC every day."

Congressional Republicans point out the proposal will do nothing to lower gas prices in the short term.

On the surface, this proposal seems like a great idea, it is (unfortunately) another result of the knuckleheads in Washington trying to fix something they don't understand.

Now don't get me wrong; I think that cutting down on fossil fuel consumption is a great idea. It will definitely cut down on pollution and, while I don't think it's as big a crisis as Al Gore does, global warming is an issue that needs to be addressed and corrected soon.

Unfortunately, while the proposal looks good on paper, It will do virtually nothing to limit greenhouse gas output. there are a number of issues. First and foremost is the fact that the standard will not affect the millions of cars already on the road. My '98 Honda won't suddenly be putting out 35mpg when this bill passes, it's not physically possible. New cars make up a small fraction of the cars on the road today, and while the standard will begin to have an affect down the road, nothing significant will happen for years (something the article points out).

Second, the fact that the automakers can get credits for creating flex-fuel and hybrid vehicles that will lower their individual fleets. I see major exploitation of this taking place; all an automaker has to do is engineer all of its cars to run on ethanol and they've effectively gotten around the ban.

Another problem is that ethanol is not the be-all end-all savior that Washington thinks it is. First off, it takes more energy to convert corn into ethanol than ethanol actually puts out, and the energy used for the conversion usually comes from a conventionally (fossil-fuel) powered source. Second, cars that run on biofuel don't get better mileage than cars that run on gasoline; some cars even perform worse. Third, it's expensive; costing nearly as much as standard diesel fuel (which due to new diesel standards is now more expensive than regular gas). Forth, biofuel production is cutting into the growth of grain that is normally used for food. Lastly, despite the plethora of flex-fuel vehicles, ethanol is not widely available; there are just over 1400 gas stations nationwide that supply ethanol. Most of these are located in the Midwest; Illinois has 500 stations and Minnesota has 300, but most states have less than 20 and nine have no ethanol fueling stations.

Finally, raising the fuel economy limits do nothing if we as Americans do not curb our consumption of gasoline. Even with gas over $3.00 a gallon, we're still buying gas-guzzling SUVs. Doing something like imposing a gas tax, even if it's just $.10 or $.15 a gallon, will drastically cut down on consumption.

On paper, this proposal looks like a brilliant idea that is sure to cut down on pollution, but unfortunately it's yet another example of our (not-so) good-hearted politicians in Washington trying to come up with a solution when they don't even understand the problem. If Congress really wants to make a difference, it should start educating itself on the issues before tackling them.

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me!

The College of New Jersey is performing Star Wars: The Musical.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Click here and here for more info.

It is a parody, but still...

Thanksgiving 2007

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Remember not to overdo it on the turkey!

Have a safe and happy holiday.

Lightsabers Galore!!!

Okay, I'm pretty sure it's been well-established that I am a huge Star Wars fan, to the point of wanting my own customized lightsaber. You probably remember the big fuss I made when I discovered Random Sabers, an outfit that would custom-make unique lightsaber hilts for its customers. Unfortunately, by the time I'd finally saved up enough money to make an order and had a design for a saber in my head, the company announced it had a massive backlog of orders and would not be taking new work orders for at least two years. Needless to say, I was crushed.

Recently, however, I happened upon a breath of fresh air, a light at the end of the dark tunnel, a glimpse of hope in the midst of my despair... okay, maybe I'm being a bit over-dramatic. The point is, within the last week I have discovered not one, but two websites that specialize in customizing lightsabers.

The first outfit, which I discovered by means of a Popular Mechanics magazine, is called Advanced-Light Weaponry. This site is run by a sculptor who specializes in high-end one-of-a-kind sci-fi props. He makes anything from simple stunt sabers to sabers that field-strip down to the "working" components to ultra-realistic sabers with LED-powered blades and working sound boards. Since every saber is ultimately designed by the customer, styles can range from generic Star Wars-style hilts to steampunk sabers to lightsabers that look almost organic. The site also offers custom-made sci-fi guns, some of which can include custom holsters as well. Probably the only downside to ALW is the steep prices; since each saber is hand-made out of high-quality materials, prices start at around $200 for a stunt saber; LED blades and sound boards jack the price up to over $500. Still, if you can afford it, the end product is well worth what you pay for. Also, since each saber is hand-made, construction can take several weeks, and that's before you factor in the long waiting list the guy has for other projects; which can tack another month or two onto the turnaround time. But again, given the amount of effort put into these sabers, they're well worth the wait.

The second site, appropriately named The Custom Saber Shop, bills itself as having "all your lightsaber building needs in one convenient spot." (Just listen to the theme song) While this site doesn't sell completed sabers, it does sell everything, and I mean everything, you need to custom-build your own lightsaber. The site has developed what it calls "The Modular Hilt System" where all of the major components (Hilt, center grips, pommel) easily screw together, making for easy upgrades and customization. In addition, the site sells all the electronic equipment necessary for adding LED or Electro-Luminescent (EL) blades and sounds to the saber, along with the tools required for some assembly aspects (drilling and tapping holes for set screws, for example). While this does make everything much cheaper than a saber custom-made by someone else, it does require a bit of electrical know-how in order to get everything working properly. Fortunately, the site does provide tutorials on hot to properly assemble all of the different electronics, as well as a Modular Starter Kit for an EL saber. Another downside is since all of the components are made of machined aluminum, this restricts the possible hilt styles to generic Star Wars-style hilts, so unless you're a skilled sculptor or you know someone who is, you won't get any steampunk or organic-looking hilts. Still, this is a great place for anyone who wants a saber on a budget.

Links to both Advanced-Light Weaponry and The Custom Saber Shop can be found in the "Links" section on the blog's sidebar. Check 'em out, especially if you want you're own custom saber (like me!)

Lindsay Lohan Serves 84 Minutes for DUI

Straight from CNN.com:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Lindsay Lohan was a jailbird for just 84 minutes Thursday, becoming the latest celebrity to serve less than a day for a drunken driving offense.

Lohan, 21, turned herself in to the Los Angeles County women's detention center in Lynwood at 10:30 a.m. She was searched, fingerprinted and placed in a holding cell in the inmate reception area but got to keep her street clothes, sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

"She was cooperative," he said.

Lohan was released at 11:54 a.m. Her original daylong sentence was reduced because she met criteria that took into account overcrowding at the lockup and the fact that her crime was nonviolent, Whitmore said.

Did the celebrity receive special treatment?

"Absolutely not. This is what we do for most everybody in this position," Whitmore said. In fact, 30 to 50 women are granted early releases from the facility every day, he added.

An e-mailed message seeking comment from Lohan's publicist was not immediately returned.

In May, the star of "Mean Girls" and "Freaky Friday" was arrested after crashing her Mercedes-Benz into a tree in Beverly Hills. She was arrested again in July after the mother of Lohan's former personal assistant called 911 to report that her car was being chased by an SUV. The chase ended in Santa Monica, where police arrested Lohan for being behind the wheel. In both cases, Lohan was found in possession of small amounts of cocaine.

In August, she reached a plea deal on misdemeanor drunken driving and cocaine charges stemming from the arrests. The judge sentenced her to four days in jail -- the mandatory minimum for a second drunken-driving offense -- but gave her credit for 24 hours already served. She elected to complete 10 days of community service instead of 48 hours behind bars.

The total deal called for her to enter treatment, spend a day in jail and perform community service.

"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs," Lohan said in a statement released by her publicist in August.

Lohan had until January 18 to serve the jail time.

She spent two minutes longer in lockup than Nicole Richie did in August for a similar offense.

Richie was arrested December 11, 2006, after witnesses reported seeing her black Mercedes-Benz sport utility vehicle headed the wrong way on a freeway in Burbank. She pleaded guilty in July to a misdemeanor DUI charge in a deal with prosecutors that helped her avoid a potential year in jail because it was a second driving-under-the-influence conviction. She served 82 minutes in custody, during which she was booked but never actually placed in a cell.

Richie's co-star on TV's "The Simple Life," Paris Hilton, served 23 days at the same jail this year after she was found guilty of driving on a suspended license while on probation for an alcohol-related reckless-driving case.

I'm so pissed that I don't even know where to begin. 84 minutes. That's less than an hour and a half! Had that been pretty much anyone else, they would be in a cell, in a prison-issue uniform, for at least two days while their court-appointed lawyer who can't even find his way to the restroom tries to defend them!

This, for me, is a perfect demonstration of the absolute nonpartisan nature of our justice system. Actually, no. This is the perfect example of exactly how perverted and corrupt our so-called Justice System really is! It is absolute proof that if you are rich and famous, than you truly are above the law. This is sickening. It's obvious that the system does not work, and it will not be changed because the people who should be fixing it are the very people that benefit from its corruption!

"Liberty and Justice for all." Yeah, right.

To Those Who Serve, Thank You

To all those serving in our Armed Forces, thank you for defending our country, for keeping us, and the world, free from tyranny and oppression.

To all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, to those who have given their lives in pursuit of freedom, thank you. Thank you for sacrificing your todays and tomorrows for us, people who you never knew, yet were willing to give up everything for. You are gone, but you and the sacrifice you made for us are not, nor will they ever be, forgotten.

Freedom is never free. It is paid for with the blood and innocence of our youth, and what a frightful cost that is.

Quick Update

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. College is crazy. I've been busy as heck for the last couple of weeks.

Anyway, I've got a new story brewing that I'll hopefully get posted up on the blog. It's kind of a fantasy story, only with 21st-century technology thrown in. When I find time (Thanksgiving? Hopefully sooner) I'll start posting it. Hopefully, this will evolve either into a mega-novel or (more realistically) a series, as I have three separate-yet-connected plot lines figured out.

BTW, new Mythbusters episodes are on Discovery Channel. Wednesday nights at 9:00 if you're interested.

Bugatti Veyron vs. Eurofighter Typhoon

The world's fastest car vs. the worlds most advanced jet fighter in a winner-take-all drag race. Cool.



I'm not gonna tell you how it ends, so you'll just have to watch for yourself. And if you think you've already figured out the winner, the Bugatti goes from a dead stop to 60mph in less than 2.5 seconds and can hit a top speed of 254mph. The Eurofighter might be faster, but it takes longer to get up to speed. Plus, the Veyron is going horizontally, while the Typhoon's going straight up...

Al Gore Wins Nobel Peace Prize

I don't even know where to begin with this.

Firstly, it's called the Nobel Peace Prize. Now you might call me an idiot, but will someone please explain to me what global warming has to do with furthering world peace?

Furthermore, the Nobel Peace Prize is supposed to be awarded those who have dedicated their lives to a particular cause and worked at it for decades. Al Gore has only spent four years promoting the dangers of global warming. By the way, his "crusade" started right after his political career took a nosedive. That's a little too coincidental (or convenient), don't you think?

What gets me even more is that the man is promoting bad science. Now I'm not saying that global warming isn't happening, and I'm not saying it's not a problem. But what I am saying is that Gore is making outrageous claims with little, and often times zero, evidence to back them up. Ask any scientist, any real scientist, and they'll tell you that the global warming "crisis" isn't a tenth as bad as Gore claims. The man has used false data and scare tactics to get our government to institute environmental policies. If you want an example of what happens to policies that our based on bad information, allow me to kindly direct your attention to Iraq.

Even worse, Gore is deluded enough into believing, and getting us to believe, that the United States alone can solve this so-called crisis. What he either fails to realize, or else just doesn't care about, is that the USA isn't alone in this problem. Brazil is cutting down the rainforests that absorb carbon dioxide and give off oxygen. Latin and South America still produce cars that run on leaded gasoline. China has no environmental protection laws whatsoever. Even if the environmental crisis was as bad as Gore has made it out to be, the US acting alone wouldn't solve anything. Furthermore, mankind alone is not responsible for this climate change; Greenland is a frozen glacier now, but when the Norse colonized it 1000 years ago it was warm enough to farm on.

I don't like Gore. You've probably figured that out by now. It's not because of his political ideologies, although it's true that he's far-left Democrat and I'm a moderate Republican. What I cannot stand about the man is that he is a liar and a hypocrite. Plain and simple. He claims to have invented the Internet in 1991; the Internet is an evolution from various systems developed by the military since the 1960s and entered its current form in the early 1980s. He denounces the automotive industry and says that everyone should be "carbon neutral," walking, biking, and driving hybrids everywhere, while he himself uses far more energy than the average American is chauffeured around in an armored limousine and a private jet, both of which make him far more carbon negative that the majority of Americans. Leaders should lead by example, something which Al Gore has proven himself unwilling to do. "Do as I say, not as I do," may fly with some, but not with me. If Gore ever wants my respect, he should start actually listening to the speeches he's making about the environment and live life according the rules he sets for others. Until the, to paraphrase Charleton Heston, he can have my Mustang when he pries the steering wheel from my cold, dead fingers.

The fact that the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to a man such as Al Gore is sickening. This so-called award wasn't about peace, it was about politics. There were candidates who were far more deserving of this award, candidates who had worked for causes that would further actual peace. Instead, bad science, political rhetoric, and scare tactics came out ahead. Alfred Nobel must be rolling in his grave at this insult to his legacy. And I can't blame him; I used to think that the Nobel Peace Prize stood for something important. Looks like I was wrong.

IT'S BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!

Anyone remember, my old movie review blog? If you don't, don't worry about it. It's been a very long time...

Anyway, I've updated it at long last. The lucky winner this time is, what else, Star Wars.

Since I don't think I'll be very busy this week, I plan on adding a few more reviews to the blog, specifically Red Dawn and The Adventures of Robin Hood, along with the video game Heatseeker. There might be a few more (and definitely one that no one will expect!) so check back soon to see.