Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or the press, or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Friday, June 22, 2007

The Return of David Pierce

As I promised before, I am re-posting my David Pierce stories. I know I said that I'd bring them back before only to get rid of them again, but this time it's permanent; they're not going anywhere.

Right now, only More Than a Job is up. I'm going to be out of town for the next week and (obviously) won't have access to my computer, but I will post the first three chapters of Codename: White Knight when I return. The rest of the story will follow shortly.

You'll note that More Than a Job's subtitle says that the book is the first of a trilogy. I've got the storyline for the third book (working title right now is either The Defender or Guardian and Angel. I know, they both stink.) Unfortunately, I can't give away any aspects of the plot without ruining the entire story and giving away major spoilers for Codename: White Knight.

I gotta run now; it's very late and I gotta get up very early. Enjoy More than a Job and PLEASE R&R!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Bringin' 'Em Back... Again

Okay, I know I've been real finicky about this, but this time its for real:

I'm brinig back More Than a Job and Codename: White Knight.

I've regretted taking MTaJ off the blog and I've got the spark for White Knight back, plus I really wanna write the third one (yes, it's a trilogy. Sorry).

Plus, I've got another idea, sort of a series-finalie of sorts for The Hitman Chronicles that I might weave into the David Pierce storyverse. Don't worry, this isn't the end of TCH, it's just a pre-emptive ending that will take place five-six years down the road. Kinda like The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, only without the Sponge and the Hoff. There will, however, be several massive hand-cannons present, so action fans won't be disappointed.

The working title for this new idea is 10mm, but this will probably be changed in the very near future. I'll keep you posted.

Okay, now it's really late and I have to go into work early tomorrow (I envy you and your summer vacation) so I'm gonna go.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Tech Support

The following are excerpts from real-life conversations (I think) between technologically-incompetent people and the folks at tech support:

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female Customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech Support: have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wiat a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...

Tech Support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech Support: Good dat. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech Support: WOuld you lick on 'Start' for me and...
Male Customer: Listen pal -- don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have a problem printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah........................thank you.

Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfreind bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up the keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah... that one does work...

Tech Support: Your passowrd is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter "V" as in Victor, the number 7...
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the passoword was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry, ... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it dissapears.

Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech Support: Okay, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A female customer called the Canon Help Desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech Support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech Support: Okay, Bob, let's press the 'control' and 'escape' keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now typle the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech Support: 'P'... on your keyboard, Bob.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

IT'S BACK! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!

HOORAY! At long last, I've finally written a new addition to The Hitman Chronicles! It's called Hunted Hunter. Kudos to nerdjedi for the plot bunny.

Okay. It's late and I've got work tomorrow, so I'm gonna sign off.


Saturday, June 2, 2007

The Slimdown

I have an important announcement: Codename: White Knight, Ghosts of Sherwood, and my list of movie reviews have all been removed from the blog.

This was not a random, arbitrary decision: no one gave a darn about the reviews, and I've lost the creative spark for both Ghosts and White Knight. The Hitman Chronicles remain posted, but I have deleted the latest update, which was only half-completed and not yet posted anyway.

However, this major removal does not mean the end of posting stories on my blog. Should the inspiration return for any of the removed stories, I'll put them back up, but only after they are either finished or near completion. I also have several new ideas that I feel like playing around with and might eventually post. Finally, I plan on periodically making new additions to The Hitman Chronicles, and actually have a very vague idea for one right now, but it won't go up for a while.

I'm also thinking about re-posting More Than a Job, seeing as how it's already finished and right now it's just sitting around doing nothing (kinda like me before the internship). Let me know if you think that's a good idea.