The (Almost) Perfect Jedi Knight Costume

At long last, I've determined exactly what I need to make the perfect Jedi Knight costume:

• Karate Uniform ($24.95)
• Jedi Robe ($49.99)
• "Master"-style Jedi Belt ($80.00)
• Custom Lightsaber w/ belt clip ($65.00 minimum)

Unfortunately, the costume is not yet complete. Anyone know where I can find a pair of brown leather knee-high boots, size 11.5?

Only downside is that of price; this getup's gonna cost me big. Even without the boots, it's costing me $219.94. Before Shipping & Handling. And that's assuming I get a relatively cheap lightsaber. Darn.

Yes, I admit it. I am a huge nerd.

Okay, now that that randomness is out of the way...

I've got a new story that's going to get posted soon. It's tentatively titled The Eliminator, but that's probably going to change. Look for it soon.

The Eliminator is also what I'm calling my new profile pic: it's a 1969 Mercury Cougar with the top-end Eliminator performance package. And the one in the picture is one of only two Cougar Eliminators equipped with the rare Boss 429 V8 engine. Schveet, ja?

Back From the Dead

Well, sort of.

I haven't posted recently for a couple of reasons:

1. First I was kinda (okay, really) bummed that no one read my blog and didn't feel like wasting the effort writing something no one would bother to read.
2. Then I went on a camping trip in the Adirondacks for a week. Real primitive; no flush toilets (I'll never take indoor plumbing for granted again!), much less an internet connection.
3. College started (again) last week and I've been busy as H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks.

So now I have a minute to write, but I really have no idea what to say.

Metroid Prime 3 is out already?! Wow! See, this is what happens when I let my Nintendo Power subscription lapse. I'm going to renew as soon as my credit card statement comes (I think I'm pretty close to maxing out, courtesy of all the $$$$ I had to spend on collegen books) I wonder what other game releases I've missed. I bought Heatseeker about a month ago, but still...

And I still haven't seen Bourne Ultimatum either. Man, I'm slipping. DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY WANT TO SEE IT! Definitely this weekend...

So, yeah, I've got another idea for a story I'm thinking about posting on the blog. Actually, I've got a couple. And don't worry, these won't get taken down 'cause I really don't care if anyone steals them. Well, no, actually I would care, but not a whole lot. I wouldn't lose sleep over it or anything like that.

Also, check out the new poll. And actually vote this time, please.

Hot Foot!

So, yeah, I was sitting on my sofa this afternoon, reading a book, when I hear a helicopter flying over the house. No big; planes and news choppers fly over us all the time. So then my mom, who's out on the back deck yells that I should come outside and see this. So I run outside just in time to see a CH-53E Super Stallion fly over our house. Mom goes back inside, but I think I hear another one, so being the military aviation nut that I am, I stay outside on the deck. Sure enough, about fifteen seconds later, another Super Stallion flies right over me. Cool, yes?

Okay, I know you're all thinking 'Why should I care?' Well, it's a very warm and sunny day today, our deck is made out of a composite plastic-wood material (please don't ask; I don't know) that does a swell job of retaining heat, and everything happened so fast that I ran out onto said deck with bare feet, where I stood in the hot sun for a good minute while the helicopters flew overhead. So to make a long story short, I toasted the bottoms of my feet. Ouch! Think I burned 'em, but it's not so bad now. Still kinda hurts to walk, though...

You don't care, do you?

Oh, yeah. Check out my new poll -->

Failure

That's what my blog's become; a complete and total failure.

My last two polls have, between them, garnered exactly one vote (not counting mine: I voted on the second poll just so it wouldn't go vote-less), the only one who leaves comments is my brother, bottom line, no one cares.

*cha-chock*

*BOOM!*

That was the sound of my blog attempting to blow its brains out with a 12-Gauge. Fortunately, nor maybe not-so-much, it's a very lousy shot, not having hands and all. But who knows, next time it might get lucky...

I leave you with this random videos, courtesy of The Muppets.

My ThinkGeek Fortune

I decided to submit a random comment to ThinkGeek:

Darth Maul Double Bladed Lightsaber: $180
USB Laser-Guided Missile Launcher: $50
Megazooka: $25
Sonic Grenades: $13 each
Maverick Dart Guns: $26 for two
Metal Desk Catapult: $35
Airsoft Submachine Gun: $20
R/C Shooting Battle Tank: $40

The look on that annoying co-worker's face when he realized he's about to get seriously pwned: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For total workplace domination, there's ThinkGeek.

-Jedi_Raptor07

Look for it and let me know what you think.

That Was Discouraging

Wow. One whole week and not one vote on my poll. That's disheartening.

So, with my customary stubbornness, I'm going to try again, and this time it's going to be simpler: Who's cooler, Ninjas or Pirates?

Wait, too simple. Howzabout this: Captain Kirk vs. Captain Solo?

Or I could go back to my original one, Who'd be a better Robin Hood?

But that didn't get any votes. How about; Who'd Make a Better David Pierce?

Forget it, I pulled those stories down and I doubt you'd remember the character enough to make educated votes.

You know what? It's all theoretical anyway right now: the Blogger Polls are down.

*double-checks*

Never mind, they're up.

So, yeah, after all that, I'm stickin' with Ninjas vs. Pirates. Though once my job end next week (hallelujah!) and the David Pierce stories come back up, I think I'll put the Casting David Pierce poll up.

So yeah, that's it for now. Check out this great pic from I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?:



Kudos to nerdjedi for findin' it for me.

Never Mind...

Okay, More Than a Job and Codename: White Knight are temporarily unavailable. No, I haven't taken them down, they're just hidden for the time being. I know, I promised that I'd leave them up, but some things have come up.

Firstly, I've had another attack of the paranoia and don't want anybody stealing my idea. But I've restrained myself; like I said, they're not removed, just hidden away.

Second, and more importantly, my job is really taking a lot out of me. I know, it sounds like a lame excuse, but believe me, now I know why it's called the corporate grind. I can't go into details since I signed a confidentiality agreement when I started, but suffice to say that we have a major product release on our hands, so things are really crazy right now, and the fact that this is the biggest four weeks for vacation of the year isn't helping.

Third, I still don't have MS Office on my computer, so I can't really edit Chapters 3 and 4 without them. Hopefully this will resolve itself in a week or so.

Lastly, I've got a couple new ideas floating around in my head that I've been toying with, and that's also been taking time away from White Knight. Those I'll post, 'cause I really don't care if someone copies them.

I know I promised to keep MTaJ and White Knight up for good, and I'm very sorry for breaking that promise. Hopefully my situation will resolve itself quickly and I'll be able to work on White Knight consistently, in which case I'll put the stories back up.

Also, I've got a new poll up on the sidebar. Check it out, and be sure to vote!

They're Back!

Anyone remember my movie review blog from a while back? No? No one? Well, that's okay, I forgive you. However, your faulty memories are no longer significant, because it is back and up and running! It's called Raptor's Reviews, and you can find it over in the "Links" section on the sidebar. Currently there are only two reviews posted, but more will follow soon!

However, that pales in significance to what I'm about to tell you next:

*insert drum roll here*

CODENAME: WHITE KNIGHT IS UP AGAIN!!!!!!!!

I only have Chapters 1 and 2 up right now as I am in the process of revising Chapter 3 and completely rewriting Chapter 4. But fear not, for they shall be posted soon, on that I give you my word of honor.

Okay, enough chit-chat. Check out the new additions and PLEASE let me know what you think!

Oh, and don't forget my previous posts.

Hello, Gorgeous

Meet the 2007 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren Roadster:

• Supercharged 5.4-liter V8
  
• 626hp
• 575ft/lbs torque
• 0mph-60mph in 3.6 sec
• 1/4 mile in 11.6 sec @125 mph
• Top Speed: 210mph
• Skidpad: 0.97g

You can stop drooling on your keyboard now.

Seriously, though, you gotta admit that this is one incredible car. I'd definitely like to own one of these babies one day. Either this or a Bentley Continental GT. Or an Aston Martin DBS. Heck with it; I'll just get rich enough to buy all three!

150 Posts and a Cheezburger

150th post.

Cool.

Still no Word, which means still no stories. Curse you, Bill Gates! CURSE YOU!!!!!!

Okay, now that that's out of my system...

nerdjedi showed me a link to this really funny website, I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

There's really no way to describe or explain the site; you just have to check it out for yourself.

Up And Running... Almost

Good news! My computer woes are finally over! I've purchased a brand-new HP Pavilion Notebook computer. No longer am I dependent on an out-of-date hand-me-down or be forced to share a Dell that has an affinity for frying hard drives! At last, all is right with the word!

Well, almost all is right.

My computer didn't come with Office. That means I don't have MS Word, which means I can't keep writing my stories or upload what I have to Blogger. Now I have to pay $100-plus (probably more like $200) to get software that any computer should come with in the first place. I hate Microsoft.

And now, on a different note...

I was browsing around YouTube today and came across a bunch of old WWII-era Superman cartoons. These were shown in movie theaters before the feature presentation along with the newsreels. A few years back, Nickelodeon aired these during their Nicktoons Show along with Bugs Bunny and that gang. I used to go over to my grandmother's house every Saturday afternoon to watch (she had cable, we didn't) and hope against hope that they'd show a Superman cartoon.

This one is one of my favorites. It's called Billion Dollar Limited.


I do have one question, though. How is it that we have sophisticated computer animation that can do anything and everything, but this 60+ year-old cartoon looks worlds better than anything that's been made recently?

Curse the Censor

This is a commercial for Xbox 360 Live that was banned for reasons I cannot discern:



I know it's very "violent," but really, there's zero blood and no one really dies. What the censors found objectionable to this, even after multiple viewings, still eludes me.

I still haven't gotten a new computer, but this will change soon; Micro Center is having major sales this month.

Also, Chapters 3 and 4 of Codename: White Knight have been lost, probably for good, so when I get a new computer, I'll have to rewrite them. If anyone remembers the beginning of Chapter 3, it's most likely going to be changed.

UPDATE:

Good news: I was able to get the computer back up and running long enough to pull some files onto a jump drive, including Codename:White Knight and the movie reviews I wrote a while back.

We're 99% sure that the computer, a Dell Dimension 3000-Series, fired its hard drive. This isn't an isolated incident: for a long time, my high school used the same type of computer in the library, and they were always having problems. It got so bad that they began upgrading to new models (again Dells) midway through my junior year, and those began having issues by the time I graduated. My advice to anyone in the market for a new computer: stay away from Dell.

More Computer Problems

Okay, I'm making this quick: I'm having some major computer issues at the moment and cannot access Codename: White Knight, so it will be a while before I begin posting it. Sorry for the unexpected delay.

*sigh*

I have got to get myself a computer! It's even trumped my airsoft MP5 for top priority!

The Return of David Pierce

As I promised before, I am re-posting my David Pierce stories. I know I said that I'd bring them back before only to get rid of them again, but this time it's permanent; they're not going anywhere.

Right now, only More Than a Job is up. I'm going to be out of town for the next week and (obviously) won't have access to my computer, but I will post the first three chapters of Codename: White Knight when I return. The rest of the story will follow shortly.

You'll note that More Than a Job's subtitle says that the book is the first of a trilogy. I've got the storyline for the third book (working title right now is either The Defender or Guardian and Angel. I know, they both stink.) Unfortunately, I can't give away any aspects of the plot without ruining the entire story and giving away major spoilers for Codename: White Knight.

I gotta run now; it's very late and I gotta get up very early. Enjoy More than a Job and PLEASE R&R!!!

Bringin' 'Em Back... Again

Okay, I know I've been real finicky about this, but this time its for real:

I'm brinig back More Than a Job and Codename: White Knight.

I've regretted taking MTaJ off the blog and I've got the spark for White Knight back, plus I really wanna write the third one (yes, it's a trilogy. Sorry).

Plus, I've got another idea, sort of a series-finalie of sorts for The Hitman Chronicles that I might weave into the David Pierce storyverse. Don't worry, this isn't the end of TCH, it's just a pre-emptive ending that will take place five-six years down the road. Kinda like The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, only without the Sponge and the Hoff. There will, however, be several massive hand-cannons present, so action fans won't be disappointed.

The working title for this new idea is 10mm, but this will probably be changed in the very near future. I'll keep you posted.

Okay, now it's really late and I have to go into work early tomorrow (I envy you and your summer vacation) so I'm gonna go.

Tech Support

The following are excerpts from real-life conversations (I think) between technologically-incompetent people and the folks at tech support:


Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female Customer: A white one...


Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech Support: have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wiat a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...


Tech Support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


Tech Support: Good dat. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech Support: WOuld you lick on 'Start' for me and...
Male Customer: Listen pal -- don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


Customer: I have a problem printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah........................thank you.


Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfreind bought for me at the 7-11.


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up the keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah... that one does work...


Tech Support: Your passowrd is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter "V" as in Victor, the number 7...
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the passoword was?
Customer: Five stars.


Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry, ... Internet Explorer.


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it dissapears.


Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech Support: Okay, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


A female customer called the Canon Help Desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech Support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.


Tech Support: Okay, Bob, let's press the 'control' and 'escape' keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now typle the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech Support: 'P'... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

IT'S BACK! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!

HOORAY! At long last, I've finally written a new addition to The Hitman Chronicles! It's called Hunted Hunter. Kudos to nerdjedi for the plot bunny.

Okay. It's late and I've got work tomorrow, so I'm gonna sign off.

PLEASE R&R!!!

The Slimdown

I have an important announcement: Codename: White Knight, Ghosts of Sherwood, and my list of movie reviews have all been removed from the blog.

This was not a random, arbitrary decision: no one gave a darn about the reviews, and I've lost the creative spark for both Ghosts and White Knight. The Hitman Chronicles remain posted, but I have deleted the latest update, which was only half-completed and not yet posted anyway.

However, this major removal does not mean the end of posting stories on my blog. Should the inspiration return for any of the removed stories, I'll put them back up, but only after they are either finished or near completion. I also have several new ideas that I feel like playing around with and might eventually post. Finally, I plan on periodically making new additions to The Hitman Chronicles, and actually have a very vague idea for one right now, but it won't go up for a while.

I'm also thinking about re-posting More Than a Job, seeing as how it's already finished and right now it's just sitting around doing nothing (kinda like me before the internship). Let me know if you think that's a good idea.

Back Into the Groove ... Maybe

I just realized that it's been over a month, since I've updated any of my stories. Wow. I'm really slipping.

This is not going to stand. When I'm not at work, I'm going to make a sincere effort to begin writing again. Honestly, I've been pretty bored at home for the last few weeks, and now I know why.

Anyway, here's the status of all of my works:

• More Than a Job: Complete, but not posted. May be re-posted here or on either FanFiction.Net or FictionPress.com
• Codename: White Knight: Introduction and Chapters 1-3 posted, Chapter 4 partly complete. This will likely be my primary effort
• Ghosts of Sherwood: Intro and Chapter 1 posted, Chapters 2-5 written but in need of major revisions. Part of Chapter 2 needs to be rewritten, it might be a while before it goes up.
• The Hitman Chronicles: I stopped writing in the middle of a new scene, so I've lost the spark. I can't decide whether to can it and start over or try and finish it.
• Movie Reviews: I have not seen anything good lately (need to go see Pirates or Spidey 3) but I might post a review of Red Dawn or The Adventures of Robin Hood.
• How To Be a Perfect Evil Overlord: Canned. No one cared, so no point in keeping it up. I do have it saved to my hard drive, just in case.

Okay, I think that's everything. I'm planning on getting Chapter 4 of White Knight up bu Monday, with Chapter 2 of Ghosts to follow shortly thereafter if I can get it rewritten to my liking. Hopefully, things will work out and I'll be able to get everything going again.

Memorial Day

To all those are serving and have served in our Armed Forces, thank you for defending our freedom.

And to all those who have given their lives for our country, thank you for sacrificing your today for our tommorrow. You are gone, but you shall never be forgotten.

Johnson: Would you look at how fast they put up the names of all our guys who got killed?
The Seargent: That's a World War One memorial.
Johnson: But the names are the same.
The Seargent: They always are.

--from The Big Red One (1980)

Freedom is not, nor shall it ever be, free.